Real Self versus Fantasy Self

Are there any areas in your life where you’re holding yourself to certain expectations based on what I call your Fantasy Self? The fantasy self is a version of yourself that doesn’t exist today ... but might ... someday in the future.

For several years I had a fantasy self who meal planned. I was always so inspired by the people who had every single meal written neatly on a beautiful little meal planning calendar for the week, along with sides, snacks, and sauces. Chicken fettuccini with kale salad on Monday, fish tacos with cilantro cream sauce on Tuesday. ‘How glorious would it be to be so organized and have this type of menu prepared?!’ my fantasy self thought. My fantasy self tried to get into meal planning for years. I always thought that I just wasn’t organized enough, or proactive enough, or maybe that I wasn’t doing it right.

And then it dawned on me: my real self hates meal planning! My real self finds it confining and suffocating. My real self has no clue on Sunday what she wants to eat on Wednesday. My real self loves the creativity that comes from looking around the kitchen and creating something with what’s there. My real self loves what I call Spontaneously Inspired Cooking. My real self doesn’t need a meal plan or a fancy calendar. All she needs is groceries. My real self finds creativity in the kitchen, and a rigid meal plan totally stifles that creativity.

This realization about my fantasy self who meal plans and my real self who loves spontaneously inspired cooking occurred to me only within the last year and has been wildly freeing and empowering.

My question for you: are there any areas in your life where you’re holding yourself to expectations of a fantasy self, when in fact you could tap into what’s true for your real self, to create more joy, more ease, and more alignment?